What part of "Well...um...maybe...not sure..." don't you understand?

One of the most important hurdles one must clear to successfully understand Chinese culture is to become facile with the idea of "face," as in "saving face."

In business life, governmental affairs, and interactions with neighbors, making certain that each person leaves an encounter with their "face" intact is absolutely critical. Generally speaking, this means that discussions are as much deferential as they are conversational.

One of the most interesting examples of this phenomenon comes when a person of Chinese heritage finds it necessary to decline an opportunity, an offer, or an invitation. While some sectors have developed the ability to simply say, "no, thank you," old-line Chinese find it extremely difficult. The reason? Saying "no," might be seen as causing the other person to lose face.

As a result, it's essential to develop a keen sense of the code words, if you will, that suggest that the person really isn't interested in whatever you have in mind. Frequently, it's the equivalent of what you might say to a pushy car dealer: I'll think about it and get back to you.

Such hem and haw language is also familiar to professional marketers and communicators trying to sell everything from the legendary widget, to an advertising concept, to a series of story ideas to a member of the fourth estate. Pitch recipients aren't as far down the road as the pitcher, meaning that the first reaction - even to the most lucid presentation - is often one of pause and contemplation.

What to do?

Well, if you listen to the folks who teach people to sell more of whatever they have in their detail bags, you'd push the prospect, your boss, your co-worker - whoever - to get a quick yes or no. (Or, you'd poke around to find out who might be able to make a decision.) The object is simple: If they say "no" fast, you can either move on to someone else, or decide it isn't worth the fight to get your idea accepted.

But before you immediately head for supposedly greener pastures - filled with people who you believe will promptly take a shine to your pitch - ask yourself the following:

• Is the product/service/idea challenging to grasp? You may live with it every day, but chances are good your prospect has a few other things on his or her plate. Cut them some slack - and look for steps you may have missed in your presentation.
• Have you missed the key benefit? It could be that you've misread the tea leaves regarding which benefit will trip your prospect's trigger. If you suspect that's the case, then you haven't done your homework. It's time to figure out how to gracefully ask the questions you should have asked in the first place, and regroup.
• Do you really need an answer today? Nobody likes to be sold. But everybody likes to buy. You'll bat for a higher average if you allow time for your prospects to get comfortable with the idea that, by golly, you just might have something they need or want.

The message? Sometimes, "I'll have to think about it" isn't a dodge at all. Before you mentally harrumph a prospect off your list, check the quality of your presentation - instead of your watch. The face you save may be your own.